When we asked the doctor if this idea was OK, he said no.

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It was a difficult journey, but today I am married to a wonderful, successful man and we’ve been together for six years.

Here’s my problem: My 76-year-old ex-mother-in-law just emailed me threatening to release to my family a video of me taken by my ex-husband 18 years ago showing me with another woman.

The fact that he would do this, then use it as evidence against you to his mother, and that she would now threaten you with a nearly two-decade-old dirty movie shows that they are both unfit as human beings. I expect your silence will be met with a resounding non-appearance of said “video bomb.” If, by some unlikely chance, your mother-in-law does have this mythical clip, and she sends it to your kids, just imagine their reaction when they get an eyeful of about two seconds of it: “Eww, gross! ” But again, I don’t think it will ever come to that. You crawled out of hell, and this beacon of decency is going to support you.

It might be worth it for the two of you to discuss your options with a lawyer and put your mind at ease.

Dear Prudence, My husband “Rob” and I have struggled for almost 10 years to have children and we are now in our late 30s.

My husband only has a 5 percent chance of fathering a child.

He would forever be looking for signs that the baby has his nose, and eventually he’d probably be driven to want a DNA test.

You two have to have deal with the psychological implications of a sperm donor before conception.

My husband adores his parents and maybe I shouldn’t say anything, but I can’t help being curious! Dear Curious, We all know how thorny and fraught the issue of parentage can be—just check out the first letter. What are the odds that you would more resemble an uncle who married into the family than your own father? Your have met your in-laws, so trying to play chromosomal Sherlock will at this point only undermine your husband’s love for you. But if you proceed to scratch the itch of your own curiosity, you will be making painful and embarrassing allegations about all concerned.

But for you, your husband’s biological origins seem only to be a matter of kicky curiosity. “Sweetheart, have you ever noticed that your parents aren’t your biological parents? My whole family was laughing about it at the wedding. But clearly your aunt and uncle did your infertile parents a favor and secretly had you and handed your over to the people you think of as your parents. If you are happy in your new marriage, cut off this speculation and be glad your mother and father-in-law have so warmly embraced you.

If the video does exist my ex likely gave it to her when I first left him 10 years ago.