It happened in front of my children, which is why they’ve been taken away from me.

The older two have been adopted and the younger two, my twins, are in foster care.

It wasn’t that she didn’t believe me, but she didn’t want to stir things up.

The twins were taken away from me in hospital straight after I’d given birth. Two days after I got out my mum, who had been unwell for a long time, died. I would have liked to be able to talk to the prison offers in a more friendly way.

There were things from my childhood I needed to forget, and that was partly why I started using heroin when I was 17. The funeral took place just before I went back to court and was given my sentence. I wanted some kindness from them, particularly the men.

I was a heroin addict and in and out of prison, and my brothers were always in trouble with the police. Hurting my own body was all that remained under my control.

I knew that if I cut myself then I’d see blood – there’s nothing else in my life that’s been so predictable.

To me, it felt difficult to separate the greyness of the sea from the feelings I had about myself.

The husband of my mum’s friend sexually abused me from when I was eight until I was ten. I suppose I thought she would go a bit mad, maybe go round there and get hold of him, but she didn’t do anything.I went into care when I was 12, but I ran away all the time and that meant I was moved around children’s homes and foster families more than I should have been.I never accepted being away from my mum, and I never came to terms with her partner separating me from her.Again and again I went to Social Services to tell them I needed help.When he was three my son went to live with my mum because I wasn’t in a fit state to look after him.I’ve had counselling, but I never talked about the memories that hurt me. Now I go to the Redcar Recovery Group and talk to people who’ve had experiences similar to mine. When I was four we moved to Marske, which is just up the road.