The Ponderosa Rachel is putting on eye makeup like she’s mad at her eyes, it’s kind of psychotic.

And everybody decides Rachel and Nick should go because Nick is such a non-entity and Rachel is such a trainwreck.

Challenge Day An actual school bus takes them to a spelling bee, which honestly just seems mean to do to these nincompoops. Since we’ve seen footage of Ed and Jaclyn on a date, we wonder if it’s them, but that seems wrong.

Like that was a real “relationship.” Seriously, the amount of mentions that woman gets on this show makes me wonder if ABC knows Maynard is off the air. Also, does anybody remember how you hopped in the sack with Ed? Well, it’s hard to see somebody’s good side when he only presents the immature, frat boy, screw-anything-that-looks-at-him-sideways, tantrum-throwing side. And Sarah, like, loves that they, like, have something, like, so unique and, like, different and special and, like, better than what everybody else has in the house. Were you too busy with your tongue down Ed’s throat to notice what he was doing with Blakeley and Jamie?

It’s like that scene in “Wayne’s World” where they make fun of product placements — Emily Maynard: little. Is the narrative supposed to be that this is some romantic fairytale, instead of some disgusting love pentagon of STDs?

Meanwhile, somebody clues Chris into what “serendipity” means so he can use it in a talking-head, and then make us all vomit by saying he’s still healing his broken heart from Emily.

*eye roll* That night, the rhetoric continues to be all about Emily and that crap. Sarah then says two gems (seriously, I keep having to pause this to write about the stupid stuff that comes out of her mouth. First, she ditzes, “I like how we started out as friends in the house and now look, we’re on our second date! It’s not like that happens for millions of people, every day. Secondly, Sarah talking-heads about the good sides of Chris nobody in the house sees. She THEN says she can let her guard down for “liking a nice guy.” By what definition is he a “nice guy”?

Bachelor Pad is an elimination-style two-hour American reality television game show that debuted on August 9, 2010 on ABC.

The show features contestants from The Bachelor and The Bachelorette, who compete for a final cash prize of 0,000.At the beginning of the season, each contestant privately votes for a person of the opposite sex to be eliminated.Each week, the person with the highest vote count from each sex is eliminated, while a competition winner casts the deciding vote publicly in the event of a tie.Previous Bachelors and Bachelorettes serve as the judges, with the winning couple deciding the couple it will advance to the final vote.The final vote is left to the eliminated contestants who weigh the most deserving couple to be awarded the 0,000 prize.Chris and Sarah’s Date They take a prop plane to a toy train to a barn or something. I’m a little surprised they aren’t just sitting on a train set while scenery paper whooshes by and a production assistant jiggles the train set and blows a wooden whistle.