They sense it — even if they can't put their finger on it — and it leaves them feeling slightly uneasy.

Talking and praying through your issues with these mentors will help you change and be more confident as you introduce the real you to women.

Get yourself into counseling, and while you're at it, do whatever it takes to be friends with an older, stable, married guy.

Then there was the excessive verbal processing of every little step in the relationship — so weird.

And there were the countless dates that I managed to ruin by rambling on like I was talking to my therapist.

And as you make these investments in the relationship, they will provide little sources of momentum in your pursuit of the title "boyfriend." The problem comes when you assume that winning that title means you've won her heart. No matter how confident and emotionally stable a woman may be, she will always need to be reassured of your love — not just while you're dating, but throughout engagement and all the different phases of marriage. Putting a ring on her finger — even a wedding band — won't totally resolve her lingering insecurities about whether your love can be trusted. The thing is, after you get married, what you in your pursuit of her heart.

Your words will still matter very much, but to breathe new life into phrases like “I love you” and “You’re beautiful,” you’ll have to practice the art of thankless chores, unconditional forgiveness, unconditional apologies, random acts of sweetness, and spiritual leadership, to name a few.

If all that hard work sounds overwhelming, don't give up.

Maybe you're thinking that winning a woman's heart will require you to act like someone you're not. And here's why: She's not a man — she's not , so meeting her unique needs won't come naturally.

So figure out if you're drawn to her before you start pursuing.

It will go a long way toward helping her trust you.

And my approach was a lot better than some of my friends, who were spending all kinds of time with women without ever making their intentions clear.