Having a line, knowing the line, accepting that they can’t give you what you want and having more faith and confidence in you rather than them and communicate it. Why would you remove yourself off the market, mentally and figuratively and bet on so much potential with someone who said they were going to call you? You’re better than being the person that they come back to after exhausting all other options.I’ve also recently heard from people tying themselves up in knots waiting for someone they’ve just met to call – go out! Don’t let them ‘settle’ for you after they discover that the grass isn’t greener on the other side.

It’s acceptance instead of rejecting yourself otherwise you’ll internalise other people’s actions or something not going right.

When your self-love is we like and love ourselves, maybe because we consider ourselves attractive, intelligent, good at our jobs, liked by our friends, able to ‘pull’ etc (these by the way, are qualities that people often describe themselves as to me) but you can tell a lot about how you feel about yourself by who you’re attracted to, the situations you engage in, how you deal with rejection/success, how deep you’ll get into an unhealthy relationship, and whether you’ll walk away – you’ll hear a lot more ‘can’t’ from someone that has self-esteem issues.

If you’ve struggled to process and act upon code amber and red behaviour and are boggled by boundaries, it’s because you’re not confident in your value and you don’t believe you’re worthwhile enough to Often you’ll assume that ‘others’ get treated better because they have some magical quality, better looks, job, more money or something that has even the most jumped up assclowns in the universe automatically knowing where the line is.

That’s completely untrue.can’t find value in you, you figure there must be something seriously wrong with you.

You’ll be afraid that you’ll balls it up or scare them off with your ‘flaws’ that make you ‘not good enough’.

With that lack of confidence, who are you likely to choose?

A partner you can share a mutually fulfilling relationship with (a co-pilot) or someone that will take you on an unhealthy relationship journey dictated under their terms ( a driver)?

A ‘driver’ reflects your beliefs although you look for them to challenge them and love you, only for them to confirm your beliefs that you have no reason to be confident and aren’t valuable and worthwhile loving.

When you convey that you’re a fallback option to whip out of their back pocket on a rainy day, that they’re able to contact you and pick up where they left off without much hassle, and you continue to believe in and keep them on a pedestal no matter what, you’ve communicated the wrong things about yourself.

It’s much easier to convey that you’re a valuable, worthwhile person through action – sitting around, going through the motions of life, and selling yourself short don’t do that.

It’s about your confidence and perceiving yourself as being worthwhile.