What you can’t do is argue with advice that is not intended for you.This is the exact same issue I had with women who tried to pillory Lori Gottlieb’s “Marry Him,” by saying that they settled in their first marriage so Ms.Which is fine – as long as the woman is up for the insecurity of not knowing where your relationship is headed. “If our culture starts once again demanding and creating chaste women, you’re going to get chaste women through and through.” Chaste means abstaining from extramarital or all intercourse.

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What I’m talking about here is completely different. Why not just save intercourse for men who verbally told you that they want to be exclusive with you? Now to avoid being misinterpreted: if you WANT to text, fuck, and not have any expectations from the guy, God Bless You.

You can “remove expectations” and not be too surprised when the guy who fucked you is on Ok Cupid the next day. Why remove all expectations from men and expect nothing from them? This advice has nothing to do with you and you should have absolutely no criticism of it.

You work with what you’ve got and if you can’t make it work, you break up.

You don’t HAVE to have sex first; you WANT to have sex first.

But choosing a boyfriend is a considerably lower bar to jump than choosing a husband.

You “sex first” people act as if you have to have sex before commitment or else. Or else you’d discover after a month that you have different libidos, or that he isn’t great at cunnilingus?

People who were irked by the concept that women should make men invest more before having sex are still probably going to be irked – but at least I’ll know that I gave it my best shot to illustrate my arguments effectively. Again, I’m not remotely judgmental of those who have sex without commitment; I will only point out as a dating coach that it tends to lead to sub-optimal results from men because they didn’t have to do anything special to get into bed with you.” I can’t see anything about which one can argue. 🙂 Below are some of the comments I received (in italics), along with my responses.

“What about having sex for the sheer joy of it without any agenda and expectation? If you can have sex for the sheer joy of it without any agenda and expectation, then my advice to hold out for a commitment should be completely irrelevant. As irrelevant as me wondering how often I should get a mammogram. If advice doesn’t apply to you, then you can absolutely ignore it.

If you expect that only “appropriate” men will write, you’ll be disappointed.