If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating.

My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process than can take longer than painting the Golden Gate Bridge.

However, in order to ensure that your clothes do not, in fact come off during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric nail gun and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist.

Checklist dating my daughter video

Below is the text from the form, however, I have created a PDF version of it that is probably more useful. _________________________________________________________ Applicant’s Signature (that means sign your name, moron!

The PDF version – NOTE: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless accompanied by a complete financial statement, job history, lineage, and current medical report from your doctor. ) _______________________________ ________________________________ Mother’s Signature Father’s Signature _______________________________ ________________________________ Pastor/Priest/Rabbi State Representative/Congressman In the boxes below, please provide Finger Prints, inked in your own blood for Homeland Security Identity Checking and DNA sampling: Thank you for your interest, and it had better be genuine and non-sexual. You will be contacted in writing if you are approved.

If your application is rejected, you will be notified by two gentleman wearing white ties carrying violin cases.

(you might watch your back) To prepare yourself, should you, by some ice cube’s chance in HELL, be even remotely considered, start studying If you pull into my driveway and honk, you’d better be delivering a package, because you’re sure not picking anything up. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck.

Rule Two: You do not touch my daughter in front of me.

You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck.Rule Four: I'm sure you've been told that in today's world, sex without utilising a barrier method" of some kind can kill you.Let me elaborate: when it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I will kill you.This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter.Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget.Please don't take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots.