College relationships are usually sought after for a variety of reasons: boredom, revenge, increased social status, financial gain, naïveté, or just a bit of genital exercise. When they’re bad, you seriously contemplate homicide, homosexuality or both.This couple is president of every club they’re in and have GPAs most people can only achieve with frequent, under-the-table office hour visits.

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They like banging and maybe even spending time with each other occasionally, but realize that as soon as people find out they are no longer single, their bullpen of additional interested prospects will be cleared out quicker the Kansas City Royals’ with a sane general manager.

(CNN) -- Though they had perhaps crossed paths several times on campus, it was only when Andy Lalinde was scrolling through images of cute girls online that the one with brunette hair standing in some South American country caught his eye. With nothing to lose, Lalinde wrote a funny message proclaiming his love for nurses and hit send. While they could have passed each other walking to class, it took -- an online dating website exclusively for college students -- to bring them together and officially exchange vows on April 29.

Instead of making me run though an obstacle course of couples rounding third base on my way to class, find a dirty bathroom stall like any other civilized person.

This stellar pair resembles The Fuck Buddies, while being the total opposite of the Just In It for the Title Couple.

They could literally throw dead kittens at a sinking school bus full of blind orphans and still receive a standing ovation. These people are too afraid to experience different partners and are not able to date others because they can’t help but hope things work out with their lover. And by “real cards,” I mean “fucking assholes.” They’re the ones who take The Fighting Couple to the next, more irritating level.

Never get involved with anyone who’s even been half of The Married Couple. They break up every other day over miniscule shit like disagreeing over the correct meal times.

Sure, they don’t waste time with “romantic dinners” and “getting to know one another,” but who needs this type of expensive, platonic foreplay when you can dance and party with other members of the opposite sex all night long and then come home to guaranteed naked, horizontal dancing?

This couple never really hangs out, they just like being in a relationship so they can plug that empty void in their life that can only be filled by the Facebook status, “In a Relationship.” They will casually drop their dating status into conversation whenever possible to prove they have found someone else just as miserable to share their pathetic excuse of a life with.

This couple both keeps telling themselves that they have a healthy, committed relationship yet can’t see the truth no matter how obvious it may be.