I put sand in you wound, I put in your wound a giant, and around myself I light the fire. It often seems it’s the families of addicts who are forgotten and who largely suffer in silence. So much in fact that I belittled myself by staying with one for seven years. Four years later, when I found out about my husband’s relapse, I thought about this friend and the courage it took him to say this and acknowledge . We go to great lengths to avoid the subject altogether.

There will always be another excuse, another mistake, another relapse, another addiction or anger about a parent’s addiction that they need their lifetime and yours to get over. When my husband first relapsed after his mother died, my well-meaning Christian father told me to “just love him.” But that’s the problem with the addict; the more you love, the more they take of you and everything else, until there’s nothing left to give. While most other people tried to be polite, or pray for me, their comments seemed to gently gloss over what was actually happening. Both the addict and the co-dependent will do anything to hide their sense of inadequacy.

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I realized over the years I had become less of myself. When someone doesn’t fit into the perceived notion of what an addict is, it’s hard for people to know what to say. There is nobody that tries harder at being “normal” than an alcoholic and his/her family.

I was worried about his anger, or that he would relapse, or be too stressed out or my actions would cause something bad to happen. It was his turn to learn to deal with the reality of our existence instead of us having to shrink because of the reality of .” His mother had been an alcoholic and it had stunted his life. “Run” was the best advice I received and it’s the advice I would give my daughter if she ever got involved with an addict. It would have said, “He cannot do this to me.” I am stronger than this. When I finally left my husband, I was only able to do so after taking weeks to compose a list of facts.

Amy Dresner is sober comedian who liberally pulls material from her depressive illness and drug addiction.

Like one who lives in deceit, I stone myself and call for help Your wound grows and grows It slits my throat from vein to vein. There are hundreds of stories and resources for addicts.

I think I hooked up with five different people within my first four months, and that’s not counting the occasional rendezvous with an old using buddy. Romance took me out of the rooms more times than I’d like to admit. I think dating in the rooms of AA is not unlike hooking up in prison.

There is a limited supply of broken people and we recycle each other.

While some people can easily relate to and embrace the fact that everyone has a past, others can find it hard to reconcile the two.

If you’ve decided to move forward with the relationship, here are some dos and don’ts that will make dating someone in recovery a lot easier for both of you.

When you’re dating another alcoholic, there is that instant affinity: you both speak the same language of disease and recovery.

You both live a lifestyle of sobriety and abstinence.

So when you break up with somebody, don’t be surprised when they end up dating your sponsor or sponsee.