Dating again after being dumped
And if you want to be completely selfish, channeling that anger is a good way of making your life more awesome while you’re recovering from the breakup. One of the things that I hear over and over again from folks who’ve just gotten dumped is that they want closure. In fact, more often than not, that desire for “closure” comes down to one of two issues.
But even if you don’t run out and start pounding on the heavy bag or taking up running as a way to try to escape your inner demons, that anger, pain and depression can fuel some of the most profound creativity of your life.
Some of the best output in a creative person’s life comes from channelling that anger and frustration into their work; Chasing Amy, for example, was born out of Kevin Smith’s attempt to process his failed relationship with Joey Lauren Adams and remains his best movie…
Other people get stoned, while still others try to find solace in comfort food and eat their emotions.
Some throw themselves into mindless sex, others hole themselves away from the world. but trying to force yourself not to feel only makes things worse. You just got your heart ripped out and a relationship has come to an end. Trying to hide from the reality of the break-up only prolongs the pain because ultimately you’re trying to pretend that it didn’t happen. Feel it, mourn what was lost and you’ll reach the other side – acceptance – that much faster.
Even trying to get some measure of revenge in the name of “justice” is counterproductive.
Yeah, it feels righteous, like you’re correcting a karmic imbalance.
While it hurt worse than anything I’d known – at the time, I had thought it was the perfect relationship – ultimately, we broke up because my girlfriend legitimately didn’t want a serious relationship with I’d pushed and pushed for an exclusive relationship when she’d previously said that she didn’t want one. I was a grown-ass man and this is how grown-ass men handled things – with stoic nobility and graceful acceptance.
So clearly, while it was obviously sad, I had absolutely no cause to be angry or hurt. I recovered quickly and moved on without bitterness or rancor. I was determined to be “mature” about it and crammed all of that pain and anger away and tried to pretend I wasn’t feeling it.
Hell, the character destroying her ex’s car for revenge in “Before He Cheats” sounds awesome – it’s also the work of a .
All it does is make you look like someone who can’t get over a bad breakup and now you’re throwing a tantrum like a child who didn’t get a cookie. There are some seriously wangsty Live Journal posts in my distant past that I’m not proud of.) One thing that helps is to recontextualize the pain. Part of what helps process the pain of a break-up is channeling that pain, anger and frustration into something else. these can all be used to supercharge other aspects of your life.
You’ve just been hurt deeply by someone you care about!