You may still think you've "got it" but let's be real -- after years of marriage and divorce you're not what you used to be. You're wearing your favorite outfit that fit just right 20 pounds ago. Playing coy doesn't get a man's attention -- it pisses him off. Buying a girl a drink isn't enough anymore; she buys her own drinks. You can't change the past but you can create an amazing future. Accept responsibility and don't repeat your mistakes. Your new style and confidence will get a woman's attention. If you are a parent, get involved in your children's activities. Divorces crush your confidence and leave you wondering if there's something wrong with you. After all, you miss having someone to come home to, talk to, have hot, good sex with and most importantly, share magical moments.

If you're only looking to meet men or women who are within a few years of your age, you may hit some roadblocks, says Safran. Dating can feel exciting and fun at first, but it can also quickly lose its charm.

"Give [people] who are eight to 10 years older a chance," she says. Whenever you feel this way, take a deep breath and remind yourself that you are so cool, right now, in this moment.

Ask a friend to tell you the truth about your personal strengths and weaknesses. Guys: Get a personal shopper in a department store to help you update your style. Guys: The right woman wants to know if you'll be good to her, respect her, support her and emotionally take care of her.

Posting your high school picture on dating sites won't give you back the years. Look at yourself in the mirror and ask, "Would you date yourself? " Updating your style can help you start the physical transformation that gets you noticed. That's the ultimate reason why there are 103 million single people in the U. Being sexually aggressive doesn't work either; keep it simple and smile. He wants to know if you are interesting, fun, warm, caring, and loving.

If you're single for the first time in a long time, you probably have approximately 10,000 questions about how to get back into the dating game. First off, it's wise to try several online dating sites, both paid and unpaid.

Here are 16 baby steps toward hopping back on the wild stallion that is the dating game.This doesn't mean that you need to lower your expectations though."Being reasonably picky means you will have droughts," she says. Let dating complement your life, and not the other way around. Yes, there are plenty of things to keep in mind when you start dating again, but before you start panicking, remember that you can go as slow as you want. I asked all of these questions of Stefanie Safran, Chicago's "Introductionista" and founder of Stef and the City, who knows a thing or two about matchmaking.Maybe it's time to try a few dates with someone who doesn't have your classic vibe, but has really nice eyes. I can feel your anxiety through the screen as you read this. "Don't give out your last name [online]," says Safran.