Dating someone who is a recovering alcoholic
As a friend or partner to that person, should you refrain from talking about anything in a negative way and be more positive about life in general? For instance, he said that it was fine for me to drink in front of him, but I thought that would be inconsiderate, and since I'm not that big of a drinker anyway, just opted not to.
There is an underlying problem that he has not confronted. There is something that he needs to find out that has made him drink so much. As a friend or partner to that person, should you refrain from talking about anything in a negative way and be more positive about life in general?
I guess I don't really know the triggers for getting the urge to drink but I alway thought stress was one of them, so those were the thoughts that crossed my mind at the time and just wondering if that's accurate, whether you have to make certain accommodations for that person because of their past history.he's in recovery..OVER 10 yrs clean...he's human...he's not fragile...thats the beauty of people truely in recovery..get to go anywhere with anyone and do anything!
What follows is in no way to be interpreted as an excuse for bad behavior, by the way.
Just like anyone (adult child, or not), if someone has issues that are unresolved, the relationship will be used, in some fashion, to process the issues.
Just thought that maybe someone from a former addiction has to be careful not to make their lives too stressful, maybe by not taking on as much responsibility, that sort of thing.
I'm probably way off base here; I just really don't have any experience with alcoholism. I think, in the past, he'd had issues with women who didn't trust him. I, personally, exercise/work out frequently to counteract my food intake and also to help with stress.I guess I just wondered if major life stresses would be more of a problem for him; he lost his job and had major surgery within one week last year. As the years go on, the baby raised in a stressful, inconsistent home environment develops a battle-ready Fight or Flight response, does not develop the natural ability to trust, and thrives on chaos simply because it’s so familiar.When the child’s parent is alcoholic and self-centered, the child never gets help processing their own thoughts, feelings, and experiences–so they learn to ignore themselves and focus on the needs of others instead, as they were trained to do.(A good rule of thumb, by the way, is to set a time-limit on your decision; put your decision to end your relationship on hold for 2 weeks, 2 months, 6 months, etc. This will help you know for sure, and prevent you from making a decision you’ll regret.