Our driver remembers when a deer hit the train and got stuck underneath. Four Tube lines are completely automated, except when there's a problem and the driver takes control back. These intelligent tubes are the Jubilee, Northern, Central and Victoria trains."I'd be really bored personally," said our candid source.And, is there any point running for the last train?

According to our inside source, this wish has been known to be granted.

We must admit, it's pretty damned entertaining and we can't believe how bad so-and-so looked in her bikini when she was caught in that weird pose by the paparazzi in the bushes 50 yards away, or wow-Posh Spice actually pumps her own gas!

The easiest thing to do is to let you friend us first so we know the coast is clear. We must admit, it's pretty damned entertaining and we can't believe how bad so-and-so looked in her bikini when she was caught in that weird pose by the paparazzi in the bushes 50 yards away, or wow-Posh Spice actually pumps her own gas!

But after that, there are more things to obsess over. On "guy trips" my buddies and I make sure to have a stack of the glossy, horrible celebrity mags on hand.

There is one way of knowing almost exactly where the train's doors will open before it arrives.

Look at the scuff marks on the yellow line, says our driver.Below are our top 10 best-kept secrets, tricks and techniques for keeping you around (or, in this case, totally alienating you). We never "accidentally" leave our underwear at your apartment. PMS is a legitimate condition and now that a drug for PMDD is available, we all have that too.Aside from the stray hair tie here and there, no woman ever "forgets" to put on her panties before she leaves the next morning. Some of us cry as a result of PMS, sometimes we need to talk about our relationship and why you won't just commit, while we're crying, of course. Your job is easy: Just try not to piss us off more.When do we declare we are "in a relationship" with you? (BTW: Have you noticed all the different magazines actually use the same pictures every month?The easiest thing to do is to let you friend us first so we know the coast is clear.Once you've tapped in with your Oyster, station staff will be radioing down to the Tube driver telling them to wait. There is no little side lamp or overhead lamp inside a cabin - only the tiny dashboard and a few bleeping sensors.