Fortunately, the orchid I had purchased for his mother, as I was supposed to be attending their family holiday celebrations, was also non-refundable.

That indulgently pricy blossom was a true f*cking beauty/looked amazing on my vintage desk for the next four months.2.

One thing I know from living in Los Angeles and watching “Funny Girls” is there are a LOT of comics, male and female. Trying to be “definitively funny,” is impossible, and in my experience, takes you further away from the source of what genuinely makes you laugh. My unique perspective happens to be from a lady who dates ladies. Sometimes I wonder if I’m being naive about it, but I don’t think my life has been extremely different as a lesbian than it would have been if I was straight. One time we were all sitting outside and a bird pooped on him out of nowhere, and my dad said, “What am I, a frickin’ bullseye!?! That was the moment I knew I wanted to be a comedian. In NYC my alter ego, Lady Scoutington, was my full time job. A., Scout Durwood has taken over, but I still identify strongly as both, so I’ve always wanted a show where I get to play identical twins. What’s one thing that people would find surprising about you? Like, don’t stop and ask directions from strangers shy.

Do you have to work hard to set yourself apart from everyone else or is it about just being funnier? Scout Durwood: I think it’s all about doing what makes yourself laugh. If anything, I’ve had a harder time fitting in rather than standing out. That said, I’m still waiting on my sitcom, so who can say? A lot of what I am attracted to as a comedian is whimsical: fairy tales, mermaids, glitter. Let’s all just play until we die and do our best to be good people along the way. Lots of comics have ended up with their own sitcom. Sort of a hipster “Patty Duke Show.” Oh, Nick at Night was a huge comedy inspiration growing up, as well.

I write the male character and Laura the female, so you get dual perspectives in alternate chapters.

It is a story of love and loss, and is available from all good bookshops, Amazon or Apple's i Books store.

This brings me to the warning I should have placed at the beginning of this experiment. (Yes, I can play this game all day.)Here is a brief, self-asked/answered Q&A to wrap this sucker up: So wait, what happened with Tinder Oliver*?!

If you cherish your soul, do not try this in your own small-but-full-of-character studio apartment. Remember that Tame Impala concert we were supposed to go to? This was a big step up from the last time I had a toothbrush at a guy’s place (purchased/placed there by me) and he later texted me, asking if I could come pick it up/remove it.

When he shifts somewhat uncomfortably at that, I know we’re in for a more-than-slightly torturous tete-a-tete.

All things said (too many things, some might say) and done, he pretended to be okay with it, but I’m pretty sure he never was. The first two months were magical/wonderful/easy/full of I love you’s (him), meeting parents (us), and pick-ups from the local jail (me)(more on that [much] later in another, still-to-be-written post).

Being funny is a craft that is a lot of hard work and a lot of letting go. In some of the descriptions for the show and for you, I see the word ‘whimsy.’ Do you think you’re whimsical? There are certain rules of the rational world that I believe one is able to suspend by believing hard enough that they are able to be suspended.

You can kill even the most carefully crafted joke if you don’t enjoy telling it. I still get down with a big ole camping trip and some s’mores, though.

If you’re reading this, you’re most likely aware that I once decided to go on thirty online dates in thirty days and (over)share my experiences with complete and total strangers.