He found something he really needs in a serious relationship from just dating non–seriously. He is now turned off by spiritual shallowness, and he looks for spiritual depth.Another woman told me that going out on dates just to date taught her that a man could listen to her.

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She needed to get to a place where a stronger man would not feel like her aggressive father and push her buttons. Dating is an activity where you do fun, meaningful things with interesting people. If you are not having fun dating, then something is wrong. She finally learned how to be who she really was with a man.

She did this by dating stronger men and making the changes inside to where she could actually like a man with a sense of backbone instead of going for a wimp to feel safe. You might be judging each person you go out with by whether or not he or she is "marriage material." If you decide he or she is not, then you deem the date of no value. Her dating increased, her anxiety went down, and she started taking baby steps down the path to finding what she wanted. See dating as an opportunity to love and serve others.

As you date for fun, you will be in many different situations that will give you feedback on yourself that you need to know. If every date is the Super Bowl, you will put too much pressure on yourself to win. Just as you learn as you date, so do the people you go out with.

When you treat your dates as you would want them to treat you and show them what a good man or woman is like, you have served them.

When you have relationships with people, you leave a wake behind, similar to the backwash a boat leaves behind.

When you date, leave a wake where the person is better off for having known you. If you only see it as "taking," you are not getting it.

She had been drawn to a certain type of self–centered man.

When she followed this strategy of dating to learn, she discovered that more was available than what she had settled for and that not all men were like those she had seen.

She learned about different kinds of men from "just dating."Dating is an opportunity to meet and get to know many different kinds of people.