I remember also receiving a letter from Detroit that was addressed to Grahame.It said he was going to have “polka-dot children” and used the N-word. Now our daughter is married to a white man, and it’s more accepted. I was asleep in the backseat, and my nine-year-old, Matthew—my son from an earlier relationship—was up front when a cop car pulled in and circled our vehicle.

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But I had come across men who expressed interest in me for what felt like the wrong reasons; they would say things like, “Black girls are just…mmm! As much as I love being a black woman, I highly doubt I’d be compatible with someone who placed that trait over my intelligence or humor. When she first messaged, my page said— KENZIE: “No white girls.” KIA: [Laughs.] It did not!

It said: “I like beautiful black women.” Raised in rural Alabama, I never had interest in dating a white girl.

KIA: White privilege is real, but it’s not something she chose. We also get bombarded by comments that “mixed-race kids are the cutest.” A stranger asked me if my baby girl’s father was black.

She tried to make her inappropriate comment better by saying, “I hope I didn’t offend you, she just has the most beautiful caramel skin tone. ” I find it offensive when people ask about her dad’s race.

On July 11, 1958, newlyweds Richard and Mildred Loving were asleep in bed when three armed police officers burst into the room.

The couple were hauled from their house and thrown into jail, where Mildred remained for several days, all for the crime of getting married.

On July 13, 1958, in the middle of the night, police raided the bedroom of newlyweds Richard and Mildred Loving, a white man and a black woman, and arrested them for violating the Virginia law that said two people of different races couldn’t marry.

(Twenty-three other states had similar bans.) The Lovings were jailed briefly, then banished from Virginia for 25 years.

We faced prejudice, but we had good times and five beautiful kids together.