While your new man is (probably) a good person, culture plays into personality and habits — both of which are not easily altered, if at all. If your man is having you over for dinner with his parents, come hungry (and thirsty) and fill your plate more than once.giphy2. Even if his room looks like a tornado swept through it, don't think he'll clean anything up. His family wants him to live at home as long as possible. If he has something to say, girl, you will definitely know about it. But if you never have any alone time and always spend time with his family, now you know why.reactiongifs14. If he's short, chances are he will have a Napoleon complex. With that said, here's 14 things that happen when you date an Italian guy:1. Unless his mom (or you) pick up his stuff for him, cleaning ain't gonna happen anytime soon.giphy5. They don't mind; they'd let him live there forever ... Make him put a ring on it if you want him to move out *that* badly.reactiongifs9. You might also want to invest in ear plugs, because his voice functions on a higher decibel level. I was counting the minutes until I could make a respectable exit, cab it home, change into sweatpants, and curl up with my book. Must be hamsters…they store chewed food in their cheeks, right? We were in a total faceoff — high noon, John Wayne style.

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Our entrees were served, and things were about to get very interesting. Well, to be clear: I ate, while Antonio practiced some odd form of hamster bulimia. ” I stabbed his remaining rib-eye with my fork and brought it to my plate without hesitation.

Antonio cut into his steak, took a bite, chomped for few seconds and then stopped suddenly—mid nosh—without swallowing. I watched with eyes wide as my date took four more bites, and consequentially removed FOUR MORE chunks of chewed steak from him mouth, and then moved them to his bread plate. Now, I’ll admit that out of stubbornness I would have swallowed that meat even if it tasted like feet.

Of course, I forgot my umbrella and got caught in an afternoon spring shower, thus causing my hair to transform from glossy and bouncy to frizzy and sad. And this drink here,” he motioned to a listing on the menu, “says it has amaro in it.

By the time I walked into the Liberty Hotel to meet my date that evening, I was convinced he was going to turn out to be a serial killer. After 30 minutes of fidgeting, compulsively checking my phone, and flirting with the waiter, Antonio walked into the restaurant. I’m pretty sure that amaro means ‘love’ in Italian…

Using his forefinger and thumb, he reached into his mouth and removed the piece of chewed meat. He then shrugged and gingerly placed the wad of beef down on his small bread plate off to the side. I stared at his plate of masticated meat, and realized I had to say something. And furthermore, I don’t believe you–there must have been a time you couldn’t chew your meat. ” “IF I really and truly couldn’t swallow the steak, I would discreetly use my napkin to remove the food from my mouth. The very last thing I would do is remove it with my fingers and display the gnawed meat for my company! Lucky for me, there was not one thing wrong with the steak.

Without saying a word, he picked up his knife and resumed cutting. I looked at the meat, and then panned back to Antonio’s face. “Is there something…wrong…with the rib-eye, Antonio? I put my fork down, crossed my fingers and cleared my throat, indicating that I meant business. In fact, I can’t remember the last time I spit out food like that.” “Point of clarification, Ms. It was a delicious cut–juicy and flavorful–and cooked to medium-rare perfection.

Every nationality and heritage has its perks, quirks and flaws, but what about Italian men? If you hate being in second place all the time, get out while you still can.reactiongifs11.

And welcome to a completely different side of dating you knew nothing about.

As soon as I got home, I deactivated my online dating account and made a new to-do list that included: mastering my mom’s Bolognese recipe, spending more time with my friends and family, learning how to change a tire, catching up on old episodes of “Ti Lascio una Canzone,” and of course, making sure that I always have time to stop and savor the meat in front of me—every last mouthwatering bite.