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His other friends and parents agree with me, but I can’t get him see it from any other point of view.
At the heart of the issue, this sort of thing stems from your own fears.
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They’re disrespecting my ability to make a decision based on my evidence and what I see in front of me.
So my opinion is to not respond to whatever his situation is with his ex…
Then the poor girl would get a text or something from her ex-boyfriend/friend and I would explode into an angry tirade about it.
I regret it – it was destructive and never ever helped my relationship. I handled (because it was my problem, not hers.) The truth is that when I was in that situation, I didn’t manage my fears. It was like, I was so afraid of the idea that she could have been doing something and playing me for a fool that I felt compelled to snuff out any relationship she had that made me uncomfortable.
After you heard their opinion once, that was enough.
Now you’re starting to resent them saying anything to you…
Again, I’m not remotely judgmental of those who have sex without commitment; I will only point out as a dating coach that it tends to lead to sub-optimal results from men because they didn’t have to do anything special to get into bed with you.
Note: there will be no comments about slut-shaming, since no one is shaming anyone, nor calling anyone a slut.
I’m not saying flat out ignore it (though that’s not entirely a bad idea). I can tell you that when I was on the receiving end of this sort of thing, I was not graceful about it. But then it would eat away at me because, in my mind, there is nothing worse than being played for a fool.
But getting worked up about it will most likely lead you to a bad place… Years ago, I would be dating a girl and she would be carrying on conversations with an ex because he was a friend. It was my fear, but I would run it around in my head, again and again until it became this “monster” of a thought.
It affirms everything that I’ve ever written about sex and gender in a very logical, concrete manner. And if, due to equality, birth-control, libido, societal acceptance, and insecurity, many women are willing to have sex with men who don’t call, pay, commit, or make an effort, then those women are essentially teaching men that they do not have to behave well to procure sex.