If you’ve been friends (or neighbors, or co-workers, whatever), for years – or, even if it feels like years, but you’ve got the kind of relationship where you’ve told each other deep stuff and confided in each other and then you have a Cher moment like in when she’s like, “Oh my god! ” — then, no, you certainly don’t need to play it cool with him.

In fact, you’re probably just feeling awkward and understanding your feelings and unsure how to proceed at this point.

When the person you’re into is super extroverted and outgoing… If you’re one to keep to yourself and the guy you’re into is clearly not, trying to stay subtle won’t help you attract his attention if you have the sense that he hasn’t already caught on to your subtle cues.

“Contacting someone is like losing power, so no-one wants to seem eager.

And 90 per cent of the time, the other person will exactly match their response speed to the time you took to reply.

Or you say something that’s so dumb that you can’t believe it even came out of your own mouth. You like him so much that you don’t want to mess things up. You issue compliments and proclamations that are immensely flattering to this new man. You’re so impressed with him and so concerned with what he thinks, that you put him up on a pedestal, where you think he belongs. And if you don’t want men to judge you for being “real,” it’s best for you to give these poor lovesick guys a break as well.

You’re not as easygoing or charming or relaxed when he’s around. This is what I call The Pedestal Principle: “The moment you put a man on a pedestal, he’s immediately looking down at you.” This is the unfortunate part of what it means to be intoxicated by a man.

Probably another cast assemble or to avoid leaving unfinished parts in the story.

The film is predictable, there will be times when you will be anxious for what will happen, and some other times you will feel boredom and impatience.

So, focus on working out your own feelings and best responses – just don’t put pressure on yourself to “play games” to attract attention. If you really like a guy and you want to see if the feeling is mutual, especially if you’re thinking about it all the time and it’s distracting you from your life to the point where it’s way more work to NOT make a move, then do it. We always regret the things we don’t do, not the things we do, right?

Olly*, a 25-year-old graphic designer, was on the train home after a date with Jen, the 24-year-old media planner he’d met on Tinder a few weeks before. Not even because he wanted to wait another day to play it cool.

If you’re often unsure what to do, or if you’re doubting yourself, just know that playing it cool is probably going to work against you, especially in these situations: When you’re doing it… It’s easy to get into the habit of playing it cool because it’s safe and because that’s what we’re told to do.

But it doesn’t always work, and at the end of the day, the reason it often doesn’t is because “playing it cool” and “getting noticed” are pretty much opposite goals.

Yeah, you’re nervous, but you’re just being “real” with him. He’s just being real – and he’s really, really, really excited about you. In fact, it’s far better to have a guy who is excited about you than one who is NOT excited about you!