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I’m looking for marriage, and you’re after a one-night-stand! Two red squirrels (who are naturally polyamorous) don’t break up over coffee when the lady squirrel confesses to craving some action on the side.relationship talk, it’s a good time to say something like, “I want to keep seeing you, but I’m not necessarily interested in monogamy.” This opens the door to chat about what you both want from one another.
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Even OKCupid began offering members the option to indicate whether they’re looking for a strictly or "slightly" monogamous relationship.
Increasingly tolerant as our collective consciousness may be, monogamy is still the social norm — despite the fact that it might not always be evolutionarily practical. I can't say monogamy isn't [ever] natural or feasible, because then we wouldn't see any animals in nature who .
Leigh thinks so: "A lot of mainstream media is talking about [non-monogamy] in a way that’s not as sensationalized — it’s not like, ‘look at these freaks,'" she says. Conley still sees non-monogamists as “the most stigmatized group I’ve ever come across.” And, Beth, for one, agrees.
She remembers the discomfort and shame she felt when she first came out as polyamorous to her older sister. I knew my mom thought a woman who had more than a few sex partners was a 'slut.' But, I didn't [expect such a negative] reaction from my sister, too." Beth experienced what felt like a gale force of "obnoxious, probing questions, and accusations of me wanting to 'have my cake and eat it too.'"Studies show that most men and women are fairly neutral when it comes to accepting non-monogamous lifestyles for others, but feel slightly more ambivalent about trying it for themselves.
As more of us dip our toes in those waters, the cultural stigma long associated with non-monogamy is beginning to shift.
As actress Emma Thompson opined in a 2013 interview with Mumsnet, “I do think that monogamy is an odd state, and actually I think it's an odd state for women.”, Showtime’s sexy reality program about polyamorous couples and families who consensually maintain multiple relationships at the same time.
She remembers telling her then-boyfriend when she was 25 that she wanted to hook up with others.
“He wanted to be with me..he went along with it,” she says.
Leigh says those sometimes-awkward “status” conversations are extra-important when trying to navigate a non-exclusive coupling.