And the worst possible thing imaginable in my mind is a bunch of 24-year-olds sitting around talking about life.

If I can get that 24-year-old single guy with a 38-year-old married man, then I have high hopes for how that 24-year-old will see, understand, and desire marriage.

I think the way that local churches can practically help godly marriages happen outside of telling single men to “man up,” and telling single women to “stop waiting around to be active in your single life” (though I do think there is a space for telling single men and women this).

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So if I think about my daughters, to have a young man constantly texting them and constantly engaging them on social media without any real clear “I’m pursuing you,” any real clear desire to want to establish a shared knowledge of this relationship, I have concerns.

I see a lot of our young women at The Village Church get teased by guys who simply “like” every Facebook post of theirs, or constantly text the young woman, without ever having defined the relationship.

To help find the right questions, we called on three not-yet-married friends who gave some time to thinking about the challenges faced by singles — Lore Ferguson, Paul Maxwell, and the recently engaged Marshall Segal.

We ended up with these questions: The Bible commands Christians to marry “in the Lord,” that is, to marry other Christians (1 Corinthians ; 2 Corinthians ).

The ability to text or to tweet or to just write on someone’s wall, enable you to flirt and tease without there ever being a “what-exactly-is-this-relationship” moment.

And so in that regard, when you have not established what the relationship is, I think it can be hurtful to constantly be involved in the technological realm, rather than the face-to-face realm.

podcast and answered ten questions on singleness and dating.

We get a lot of questions from young Christian men and women who are “not yet married.” Their season of life awakens many desires and hopes, uncertainties and insecurities, and tricky pastoral questions.

Is there such a thing as “too fast” in Christian dating?