Making Sense of an Attraction to a Married Man Having a Secret Love Affair Community Q&A Loving the married man. This is for the women who love their married men and need positive guidance and support to work through their issues. No matter what side of the fence you’re on both can agree that this is a very controversial and moralistically sensitive topic. The touch of a hand, an innocent conversation, a glance?

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Not only can you help your partner effectively manage these natural urges through counsel, but you can also create healthy alternatives in the event that the desire is too strong to curb.

Betrayal, not compromise, is the biggest offense in any relationship, but if you don’t create an environment of open communication, you leave your partner to their own devices and vices.

Oxytocin is the bonding chemical that cements loyalty through intimacy.

Thus, many men will not successfully conform to the monogamy model whether they have shared their last name or not.

So, my answer to this popular query is always the same: If it occurs in nature, then yes, it is natural. The more we understand and can identify patterns, the better we can cope and even evade the trauma associated with them.

And since extra-marital affairs have been in existence for just as long as the institution of marriage, I think it is time we stopped looking at affairs as heinous crimes and instead as a natural occurrences. Marriage was invented to legitimize offspring so that parents could pass down any assets acquired over their lifetime to heirs.

I often get emails from women involved with a married man or from men who are engaged in an affair that usually center around one question: "Am I a terrible person for doing this?

"And while there are too many variables and not enough jewels in my own crown to effectively answer this, I can answer the underlying inquiry: No, you are not abnormal or evil.

Now for the happy part: Once you understand that affairs are driven by natural tendencies, you can stop personalizing the act and begin managing the possibilities.

I strongly believe that keeping an open dialogue with your partner about their temptations, desires and natural drives is very important.

Similarly, a married man is a living example of the qualities women naturally seek out: Some women simply appreciate their attraction while respecting the family unit, others compete to have those qualities for themselves.