PULLMAN, WA—Warning that those who go on such weekend outings do so at their own peril, a study released Friday by researchers at Washington State University found that more than four in five couples who walk around exploring new neighborhoods never make it back home.

PORTLAND, ME—In an effort to ease any concerns about her presence at the apartment, local man Jason Ballard assured his two roommates Wednesday that his girlfriend would only be staying over for the entire duration of their relationship.

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Nearly 7 million people in the UK are classed as disabled, yet according to a survey by Scope ‘only 7% of people have been on a date with, or asked out, a disabled person’.

Having a disability can make online dating more difficult, but it should not stop you from joining an online dating website and looking for your ideal match.

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NEW YORK—Saying the strategy was certain to attract the most eligible men of the highest repute, relationship experts recommended Friday that single women frustrated with their current romantic options try bathing in an open stream until the ideal suitor glimpses them through the trees.

MINNEAPOLIS—According to a study published Thursday in the Journal Of Marriage And Family that assessed factors contributing to lasting and happy relationships, the practice of carving names into public property prolongs the time a couple is together by 30 years or more.AUSTIN, TX—Explaining how they would have moved on with their lives a long time ago, a report released Monday by researchers at the University of Texas revealed that more than 90 percent of Americans would have easily gotten over their ex-partner by now.OXNARD, CA—His heart pounding in fear as he stared at the unread message in his inbox, area man Joe Dubbin reportedly checked Gmail at 11 p.m.SALEM, OR—Saying their respective justifications were “good to go” whenever necessary, local couple Mark Wondrich, 25, and Cara Marshall, 27, reported Friday that they each have a comprehensive list of reasons why they should break up with the other on standby.OCEAN BEACH, NY—Moments after being called to the dining room table and briefed on a lengthy set of rules, local woman Shayla Meyer reported Tuesday that her relationship with Matt Brickell had apparently reached the point where she had to learn his family’s weird card games.CHICAGO—Explaining that he’s always trying out new tactics and carefully crafted phrases in an effort to connect with members of the demographic group, sources confirmed Tuesday that local man Rob Benson spends the majority of both his work and personal life desperately attempting to appeal to women 18 to 34 years old.