Instead, you have to be brutally honest with yourself and what you actually want. Explore this before making any choices on who should pay for dates in the beginning of a relationship You may or may not be familiar with the idea that the beginning of the relationship often sets the tone for the entire relationship.

If you think about your first few arguments you had with people you’ve dated, they are often the same arguments you had throughout the entire relationship.

I also enjoy all things chivalrous.” And if a guy really likes you, he’ll probably want to treat you on the first few dates**.

But if you do want a modern relationship where traditional gender roles aren’t expected, this is the best option for you.

Option 3: You pay for the entire bill If you pay for the bill, this says “I’m well off and you’re broke but I really like you”. Usually if one person is much more well off than the other, he or she may pay for most things.

He may say “thanks for offering, but it’s my treat” and you can then say “thank you; I appreciate it and had a great time with you.” If you let him pay, after offering, you’re showing him that you like a little bit of chivalry and you like traditional dating roles.

If you want a relationship with traditional gender roles, this option is the best.

Remember that if you insist on splitting the bill on the first date, it’s likely he’ll expect that to be the case going forward.

Your second option is to let him pay for the entire bill after you offer.

So, looking at the first few dates you go on, there are 4 possible options.

Option 1: He pays for the entire bill Option 2: You split the bill and both pay Option 3: You pay for the entire bill Option 4: He leaves you stranded when the bill comes (or makes up an excuse like he forgot his wallet) If you’re teetering between whether to offer to pay on the first or second date and you’re not sure what’s best, consider these options.

If you’re traditional but you want to offer to split the bill to be polite, you have two options: you can insist on splitting the bill or you can offer once but let him pay.

If you insist, you are saying that you don’t really care about chivalry or traditional gender roles. You’ll know which guy you are dating by his reaction.

If you’re considering who should pay for the first few dates, I have a theory that it completely depends on the type of relationship you want.