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For people that haven’t yet fully realized that all of us need to be emotionally responsible (which is most people), this is where much of the pain of the breakup originates from (they blame themselves for not “measuring up”…
To dispel the misconceptions, let’s take a look at some of the universal truths about guys and breakups – some of which may surprise you since they certainly are hidden from the surface. Simple enough to say, but I know plenty of women will talk about how some guy came off like an insensitive jackass after the relationship fell apart because of his actions post-breakup.
The fact is: If a guy is profoundly obnoxious or terrible after a breakup, it is most often a testament to how rough the breakup was on him. MORE: 5 Things Every Girl Needs to Know About Guys Jerry Seinfeld once said that breaking up a relationship needs to be like taking off a Band-aid – One motion: OFF!
I’ve heard things like “When a guy’s relationship ends, he replaces her.
When a woman’s relationship ends, she mourns,” or “He’s just hooking up with such-and-such to spite the ex-girlfriend,” or “Guys just don’t care” and other nonsense.
In the case where you dumped the guy, one common reason is that the guy doesn’t want to be alone, he doesn’t want to deal with his grief over the breakup and he doesn’t want to “deal with himself.” When he jumps into another relationship, he can get a dose of external female validation and derive a feeling of false sense of self-esteem and self-worth from her positive attention.
It has its cost though and eventually devolves into a crippling neediness.
I don’t think it’s that guys don’t want to deal with the breakup…
I think it’s more that they wouldn’t even know how or where to begin… but if I could go back and tell my 15-year-old self a piece of advice about breakups, it would be, “If you get dumped, just move on right away.
It’s painful because it’s a belief that something that is impossible is could be possible…