Relax, don't overthink it, and remember that what you're putting up is the equivalent of first-date banter.The process is a mild inconvenience, not a confession or a trap, so just chalk it up to the cost of being proactive. This sounds like some type of Yoda koan, but try to talk about what you like, not .

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(Okay, maybe I will.) I'd like to tell you I hang glide and build soup kitchens in Haiti, but last Saturday I got drunk at home and watched an entire season of "Why do we connect?

What causes solitary beings to want so desperately to be close to one another? I enjoy tandem bicycle rides." "How would I describe myself?

Davidson: "A selfie with your dog in the park might work—you look like a real person.

Otherwise, it's hard to take a self-portrait, especially in the mirror, without looking like a vain asshole." Davidson: "People need to see your face, but shooting up close with a wide-angle lens makes your nose look bigger.

Besides: Effortless rejection is one of online dating's great achievements.

Escaping...a bad first date: Dinner is too much of a time commitment and coffee is for work associates, so you're asking her to have a drink with you.

I think that about covers it." "Hello I am funs human from Romania. I LIVE IN MOMENT."No pressure, but that first message is as do-or-die as it gets in online dating. "We've found that subtle self-deprecation works great," says Langston, "and that a joke works out terribly." Mention a common interest from her profile—we both like skiing! It's counterintuitive, but mentioning a woman's looks in your first e-mail comes off as creepy—like you've started fapping.

I move here four years ago and make many good friend but not find special lover. We asked Grant Langston, senior director at e Harmony, for a few guidelines to keep her from clicking delete. Compliment her ironic Kanye shades, sure— just not any part of her actual body.

Don't call yourself any of the following: witty, ambitious, down-to-earth, or humble.

Mention a few TV shows, movies, bands, and books you enjoy, but take it easy on the esoteric poetry, eight-year-old Bay Area rap lyrics, and the word I.

It's a little weird at first, trusting a computer algorithm to pair you off.